Yo-Mama

I have ideas... because i trade them for friends... no i lie... but seriously i ponder myself into circles of endless ideation that i dont sleep well at night... my pea size brain has issues with sleep time and commonly, and by commonly i mean nightly it haunts me with endless ideas that sometimes are gold and other times are... well... anyway, i have times where i lay for hours developing ideas and planning them out into some form of logic... i often stumble from bed in the dark, find a piece of paper without turning the light on and scribble down whatever idea it is hindering my sleep and i do all this without the lights on in fear i may wake myself up further from this somewhat drowzy stupor of idea creation....

Well last night was a cracker.... as i layed in a sun burnt sweat with my fan on Max and my mind on overdrive... i started to think of the shape of bottles.. yep.. bottles... plain and simple... and begun to wonder why drink compaines dont make incredible bottles like cologne companies do? sure some alcohol companies have begun to make bottles a little different, but i dont do alco pops and the such so there design does not fathom one iota of my interest... so i switched gears and hummed towards re-inventing orange or juice in general... after what would have been another easy 30 minutes of tossing and turning i came to an idea of fresh juice that is premium in its taste and comical in its delivery...

INTRODUCING: Yo-Mama.... basically its still juice, no need to re-invent the wheel your pathetic jerk! but my spin comes into it with a really fat stumpy bottle...no more then 3 or 4 inches high but with such a large gerth that its 750ml capacity makes a large adult hand look small... picture something like Ron English's creation here.. but a fat home wife type look instead of Ronald...

 

But still in bright fresh fun colours... with the head being a lid/cap and so forth... but the joy of this idea of mine comes in when you combine it with those golburn vally juices whose lids carrying humourous or boring little snippets of factual info... but since that is enjoyable yet not quite realising its maximum potential i want to have the inside of the juices sharing "yo-mama" jokes... which would without doubt be a hit with the youth generation whose mindless approach to Boost stands blows my mind, no doubt those little fuckers wouldnt drink juice or water growing up yet to fit in they will line up at a Boost stand to order something that tastes like watered-down emu piss commonly known as some expensive juice??

So yo-mama juice.... sharing insights like...

YO-MAMA SO FAT SHE PUTS MAYO ON HER DIET PILLS

YO-MAMA SO FAT HER SIZE IS MEASURED IN ACRES NOT KILO'S

YO-MAMA SO STUPID SHE WENT TO THE DENTIST TO GET BLUE TOOTH FOR HER PHONE

YO-MAMA SO LAZY SHE THINKS A 2-INCOME FAMILY IS YO-DADDY HAVING 2 JOBS

YO-MAMA SO BALD WHEN SHE PUTS ON A TURTLE NECK SHE LOOKS LIKE A ROLL ON DEODERANT

YO-MAMA SO HAIRY YOU ALMOST DIED OF RUG BURN AT BIRTH

YO-MAMA SO OLD SHE WAS A WAITRESS AT THE LAST SUPPER

YO-MAMA SO POOR SHE USES HER CURTAINS AS BLANKETS

you get the idea..... i liked the idea... probably cause mass outrage but at least i wouldnt go around telling people i gave them wings when i really dont...