Dodging Bullets VS Winning Love Lotto

I consider myself an old western gun slinging bullet dodger, i have seen an unusally large amount of unfairly bi-polar lovers who i swear were amazing only to turn crazy and release their inner cat-lady and send me crazy!! banana's!! cukoo!! which i just have to fathom as my inabilty to escape down the fire escape before my girl friend goes Britney Spears and shave their head up emotional break down style and cause me to lose sleep with the fear they may be watching me creepily in the shadows while i sleep (dreaming of better times), yet if i had standards lower then the combined Kardashian family I.Q i may have just settled and married any of these satisfactorily diagnosed nutjobs, but i chose life over death and burnt bridges like an islamic terrorist of love!

Interestingly, my love life is boring to write about so i shall apply this epidemic to celebrities who we are free to judge, gossip and discriminate againest because we commonly see pictures of them in magazines whilst waiting at the Doctors / Hair dressers / blah blah blah where EVER! so since we see them we can safely draw the connection we must know the ins and outs of their lives better then they do! only logical right? gossip = undeniable truth in my books!!!

Lets class them as Bullet Dodgers & Love Lotto winners yeah?? The bullet dodgers being the partner whose love averts international condemnation of unhappiness and bails before the rent gets worse then a hotel on Mayfair! The love lotto winners being the partner who somehow swung for the fences and hit a bases loaded lover home run and shall spend the rest of their life unbelievably lucky diving into 4th base head first, which if you get the pun and apply it to your dream partner you should be smiling more then a lotto winner therefore your one over-achieving bastard! (SEAL im looking at you!)

I will start with the beginning of reality T.V Lovers, cause nothing says love like broadcasting your dirty laundry weekly.

 

These 2 are tough to class, because they both fail at life therefore are they both bullet dodgers! or winners? reseach via magazine photos would lead me to believe Mr Boy band may have won lotto for the simplest reason being he got the best years of Jessica Simpsons body whilst his tattoos were still popular... lets observe...

 

Yes, early years lead me to the findings of Nick's brain leaking on to his shoulder due to the mind numbingly boring and stupid conversations with his wife, if not that it could be jizz stains due to pre-eating binge Jessica having all those curves and Nick without no brakes... im still struugling to class them, i think they both win cause neither wants to be with either so its a bullet dogding  musical meltdown...

More interestingly i realised i need to focus on daters not married couples... so this should become more on point, i think i just got distracted by the curves of Miss Simpson and needed to give myself a reason to google images of her, apologises readers, im back on track now! 

 

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen, Summer & Skywalker... obviously Anakin has won love lotto to be dating the cutest 5'2" creation gracing Gods green earth... (i find that jealousy isnt awesome, yet jealousy is taking over) plus i sick of searching for dope photos... im dope photo exhausted! your all spoilt and able to type into a google search bar!! so the rest is on you to judge...

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long.... both winners...

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake.... Jessica got lucky... Justin makes mermaids wet, so Jessica your lucky!

Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin... being home alone with Miss Kunis is a personal dream of mine, so well done child prodigy, you have tar & feathered every man in the world by pulling this one off... [insert golf clap]

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley... XOXO BLAKE! so lotto won by Penn...

Mr & Mrs Smith.... if Brad can get out from under Angelina's bondage devices then Brad would have dodged a blood sucking bullet.

Chris Brown and Rihanna... true bullet dodged, i think she didnt manage to dodge any fists but she dodged some bullets! i saw her in a onesie today, WOW! if i can kiss her i would have completed 2010 resolutions!!!

im over this.. the blog is spacing it all weirdly and im not in the mood for dope photo searching OR issues of typing related problems!!